Associated Press Reports:
San Francisco, CA.
At a press conference held at the start of stage 1 of the Amgen Tour of California, Michael Ball CEO of Rock and Republic Jeans announced his companies acquisition of urban cycling clothing/hard goods manufacturer Swobo Inc.
Not AP stuff:
In what Ball described as a perfect marriage between "The soul of the new cycling movement and the soulless", Ball hopes, with the implementation of guerilla business practices and the use of sub-par materials to increase the brands profits "at least 10 fold."
Ball's first move as CEO was to fire longtime Swobo employee/acquaintance Stevil Kinevil from whatever it was that he did, and replace him with Rock Racing team member Tyler Hamilton, who needs the work and with any luck will go the fu*k away and never show his face at or around a cycling event ever again.
How much the actual look and attitude of Swobo Inc. will change under the guidance of Ball is yet to be determined, but the company's ever popular blog www.howtoavoidthebummerlife.com has been "pulled indefinitely" and restraining orders have been filed against all contributors.
As for the newly unemployed Kinevil, it seems as if his dreams and aspirations remain unswayed....all he wants to do is dance.