Thread: Bar Knockers are anti-Strava

Found this while slumming on cow town forum. This guy really hates "tree gates" aka bar knockers!

Dallas Off-Road Bicycle Association ? View topic - I hate tree gates?..a manifesto

"I hate tree gates…..a manifesto

by minotro » Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:55 pm

With the recent outcry I found myself impassioned ….yes IMPASSIONED about my loathing of the tree gates that exist on our various invaluable and numerous north Texas Dorba trails. Nothing annoys me more on the trail. Not Ferrell dogs, not man on man trail sex, not geriatric hikers, not hordes of triathleeeetes, not horse *****, not copperheads, not sand pits, not even loud back pack speakers blaring NIki Minaj, it’s those stupid good for nothing pinky eatin, bar plug losin, shoulder smashin, strava killin, thrash trees that exist for no other reason than pure error at best or or early 90’s narrow bar elitism at worst. Trash trees….T hese aint stately oaks, they aren’t exotic maples, these are no different than the many other trees we cut through to make the trail in the first place. There’s nothing sacred about keeping that one little tree after you’ve trail blazed to that point.

The only thing as close to annoying as tree gates are those who profess to like them. You are a liar sir or madam, do not confuse your disdain for the ninja Paul Bunyan for affinity to the aforementioned suck portals, they are not fun, and you are no fun. Very likely the same professors of love for the bar stoppers are the self same naysayers of jumps and drops. OOOHHhhhhh no, we can’t have jumps or drops, this aint Colorado and we don’t want anyone to risk hurt for air…….but flying full speed into a shithole corridor turning your front wheel and ejecting you into another tree is okay, it’s elite maneuvering even…..it’s ….it’s just some skill you don’t have Brosef.

Well look, the vast majority of the mountain bike community, I believe, are polite, and are grateful for the existence of so many great trails, as am I. But there’s just no way that if it were put to a vote, you would find anything close to support for these flow killers. Perhaps this recent turd culling was done in an improper way, but that is a separate issue. What’s at issue really here is where the character of a trail is formed. It most often lies with the trail steward, and who can raise criticism... as they are devoted and willing, but it none the less lies with them, the burden among many others, to seek out and listen with an open mind to the mob, the bike mob, the people for whom the trails exist. “Either make peaceful revolution possible or make violent revolution probable” - Jesus

ps: I don't think I've ever posted a mean thing on dorba, nor do I wish to offend anyone,

pps: RIP- my pinky fingers, my shoulders, my odi bar plugs, my ego, my strava times, my soon to be cracked carbon handle bars.

ppps: I didn't do it.

PPPPS: It'd be cool to get a few more jumps and drops around."

Must be that time of the month. In dallas.

I'm glad I don't live there.

^awesome.^^ab too.

p.s. I like tree gates if thats what little skinny squeeze between trees are called.
p.p.s. got some at pb sunday.
p.p.p.s. just trim bar width to match shoulders

Originally Posted by Bamwa

^awesome.^^ab too.

p.s. I like tree gates if thats what little skinny squeeze between trees are called.
p.p.s. got some at pb sunday.
p.p.p.s. just trim bar width to match shoulders

Fuck little bars.

There are a lot of crybabies in that thread. And it's a big crybaby circle jerk. "I hate trees that are too narrow!" Improve your skillset dipshit.

tl;dr

whatever it says - stahp. go ride.

Originally Posted by Ernest Borgniner

I'm glad I don't live there.

This rant is the least of the reasons I'm glad I don't live there.

I remember that guy on the DORBA forums from when I lived up there. The trails up there (especially the trails in the N. East part of DFW) don't have much in the way of elevation change, rocks, or any major technical feature. So, it seems that they use tree gates to keep things interesting. They're everywhere, sometimes in series separated by 10 feet or less. But, hey, I got really good at knowing what my bars would fit through.

That's when people need to nut up and head over to Sansom Park in Ft Worth. That place is legit. Loads of tech. It's in NW Ft Worth over by the Lake Worth dam. Close to the Naval Air Station/Old Carswell AFB just off Loop 820 and Jacksboro HWY.

Originally Posted by Owen

Fuck little bars.

What are you talking about?????????????
Would you rather be like this..........
Attachment 8951
Attachment 8949
Attachment 8948


or this................
Attachment 8950

I think that would definitely get caught in trees.

Originally Posted by Bamwa

What are you talking about?????????????
W
or this................
Attachment 8950

I think that would definitely get caught in trees.

You'd definitely want one of those short stems with that bar. Maybe even one of those new fangled negative length stem.

Attachment 8950

Copper components, it's the future.

HEYooooooo! I'm glad my rant has made the rounds. It seemed to have evoked quite a bit of arguments, luckily most of them are supportive of my Correctness. Recently, someone decided to do a solo turd culling of the most offensive trees at OCNP trail, It's now much much better, but now there are a bunch of whiners, people who's only satisfaction from trail riding is that they have figured out a way to not crash on their shitty skinny bar hard tails and have manifested that podium of the most basic form of riding success into merit bars and back slapping. Believing that they are somehow on the next level of biking and that those people who find the new flow more liberating and fun are simply unskilled by comparison and that personal facebook extolation can assuage their guilt from having previously opposed the addition to drops and jumps to their trails. Saying north texas isn't colorado is the bastion phrase of the lazy apologists; We've got dirt, rocks, and a great number of trails, the shittiness is inexcusable. For too long we've been creating quantity over quality, and that needs to change.

btw, my bars are only like 720 wide and there were some gate that were narrower than that, and at high speed sections . simple math, they sucked.

Wrong forum to post "it affects my Strava PR's" rants.

that was a joke and I'm sorry I didn't make it more obvious.... was trying to appeal to a broad audience. strava is in meme territory, and was not the subject of any of my sentences.


also...I didn't post it here.

Dallas wins!

Not with Brandon Weeden they don't. Thanks for taking our worst player Jerry Jones,sincerely, the Browns.

This thread on Dorba is really fun to troll. Those guys take themselves really seriously.

they've even exiled some folks down to Austin....