I knew a old man who swallowed a spider

[boomer RHR]

Last night I went out for a night at RHR by myself. it was a cool fast ride with my new surefire flashlights duct taped to my helmet. they are cool, very bright to boot. as I was climbing up fat C I was thinking to myself "why am I doing this". up to the top I go round to karaway. here we go - balls to the wall, first turn, AAA big spider web. ducked under that one. when I look up then here is another one. hit it full face. just got that one off my glasses when here is another. boy if this is the way it was going to be I was going to turn around NOW, but I carried on Karaway. it opens up about then and the spider webs became less and less. got to eazy pickings and thought "this was going to be a fun ride". off the lip was a little more exciting. wow, there are things out here (lion ,tigers and bears oh my!). OTL was not very eventful. got to FL-no spiders :) . cool ride so far. started FL, poured the sweat from my helmet. got a good start, riding fast when i saw a stick in the trail. dropped my foot off the pedal to kick it off the trail. when I was on top of the stick I saw it had scales. O' SH*T! got my front wheel over it but not the back one in time. sucked it right up into my spokes. now I don't like snakes and this one and me were going round and round. HA HA. I don't know if it was dead or just pissed off but I was not going to turn around to find out. when I looked up there is a big tree in front of me. where did that come from. Damm who put that in the trail (must have been riden fool). it was funny though, my bike went right up it. so here I am bike up in the tree, me on the side and a pissed off snake behind me. what's the Boomer to do. stop laughing and go on. I still have to get back and that's where I'm going. so I start to finish FL when in the wood there are eyes looking back at me. Hogs ! it was about ten or so. it's time to get the heck out of the FL so on the bike and on my way. spiders are one thing, snakes are another, but a group of Hogs is just too much!!!! :eyebrow:

now I tell this story to get to the next story. turn back on OTL going backwards (it was backwards day you know), when I got on the part of the trail that I had just been on. i saw one of the biggest spider webs I had seen that night.when I went into it, the spider attacked me. so I ate him. could not get that damm thing out of my throat. emptied my camel back trying to get that thing out of me.

when I got back to the shop,there just wasn't enough beer to get rid of the thought of the spider in the back of my throat. but I tried really hard!!

but after all this I still had a good ride and a big laugh from my wife.

funny this morning she stll won't give me a kiss, I guess she thinks the spider is still in there (or maybe its the beer breath). i know i do.

so this it my night ride at RHR last night. doesn't that sound like i had a good time ! :rolleyes:

Boomer


awesome lights though

http://store.kbcamera.om/e2l.html

[barn3rd]

I am sure the spiders were blinded by the twin suns that were those flashlights. The rest of us were content to drink girly coolers in air conditioning and leave the dark confines of OTL to the dinizens of the dark.

[Ridenfool]

Boy, that AC was NICE! :p

And, I don't remember seeing any spiders around the campground, other than the spider-looking robot that we saw during a viewing of The Incredibles in the comfort of the RV.

Keep in mind that Boomer has a VIVID imagination and there WAS beer involved. He was riding with flashlights DUCK-taped to his head, er, um, helmet. Just the thought QUACKS me up :D and leads me to consider feather he had his story DOWN straight, and what he hoped to accomplish by posting the WEB foot notes of his adventure in a public pond such as this. If this is a hoax he should be paddled, unless he might enjoy that sort of thing. (Wife of a biker???)

We didn't actually SEE him ride, so it could be he was suffering from hallucinations while riding circles around the bike shop for all we know. Perhaps he was actually abducted by aliens (illegal or otherwise) and they planted this bizarre story in his mind to cover up their evil-doings?

If he did eat some kind of bug, have you considered that it may have been by choice? There's no telling what kind of toxins may have been ingested, or how they affected his recollection of the events of that night.

Spiders, snakes, hogs, it all seems a little far-fetched to me. ;) It was probably just the official Rocky Hill Racing Lizards making sport of him. Heck, he didn't even mention chupacabras, . . . or bats.

There have been rumors that Bikopelli, the native god of mountain biking frivolity, fermentation, and fertility, has been spotted on the ranch playing tricks on riders. Pushing out the front wheel on a sandy turn, placing a stick or log in a strategic spot to launch the bike into a spectacular endo :endo: , slashing tires and tubes, breaking spokes, wrecking drivetrains. Many of us have seen, or been a party to the results.

Perhaps Boomer IS Bikopelli????? :eek:

Further investigation is needed. And, a night ride with Boomer is the only way to get to the bottom of these rediculous claims. (Why, oh why didn't he ask any of his loyal friends and compadres to go along??? :eyebrow: ) Besides it's too freakin' hot to ride in the daytime anyway.

Okay then, who's up for a night ride at RHR to look for evidence of this tale of woe? It could be dangerous. There may actually be critters of unknown origin and intent to deal with out there. Or not.

Only time will tell, and the time is now, who among the mojos are willing to risk life and limb (and possibly the lives of innocent beers) to get to the truth of the matter????

[Wife of a Biker]

Boy, that AC was NICE! :p
If this is a hoax he should be paddled, unless he might enjoy that sort of thing. (Wife of a biker???)


What you talkin' 'bout RidenFool :eyebrow:
Its cute that you are so STOOPID :D

[Silver Back]

Funny stuff